Saturday, August 30, 2008

Doggy Bag




How did they do it? How did the Chinese muster the strength and fortitude to win all those gold medals? Doping? Maybe. Nutrition? Probably. In fact you may be interested to know there's a particular restaurant in Beijing for anyone feeling fatigued or lacking strength. It's called Strong in the Pan and it specializes in one "thang". Wang. Dong. Johnson. That's right. Animal Penis.

Listen to Anthony Germain's report for the March 24th airing of Dispatches as he does his best to keep it together under difficult circumstances (circumcisions?):
Click to Play the podcast.

The Chinese are well known to eat anything with wings but airplanes, and anything with legs but tables, yet this seems a bit far fetched. Perhaps as Schott's Miscellany notes, the Chinese think of animals very differently than we do in the West. Maybe this excerpt will shed some light;

"[it is said] that Dr Franz Kuhn discovered 'a certain Chinese encyclopaedia' entitled Celestial Empire of Benevolent Knowledge, which stated that all animals can be classified thus:

[a] belonging to the Emperor
[b] embalmed
[c] tame
[d] sucking pigs
[e] sirens
[f] fabulous
[g] dogs
[h] included in the present classification
[i] that shake like a fool
[j] innumerable
[k] drawn with a very fine camel-hair brush
[l] etcetera
[m] having just broken the water pitcher
[n] that, if seen from a distance, look like flies"

Or maybe it doesn't shed any light at all. Couldn't they just eat the heart of their victim? Is nothing sacred? It just seems like the last indignity you can do to a creature... serve up its dick in a broth?

Note: this is humanity reaching its very end.

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