Monday, April 16, 2018

Stomach to Ground Control 


Image via the Florida Center for Instructional Technology

Me to stomach: Hey, what’s up?

Stomach: Um? How do you feel about staying home today?

Me: Why?
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Tuesday, April 10, 2018

The Undeniable Truth 


Your headache has arrived.

The last few weeks I’ve been working late and racking my brain around an entirely useless, inane and tedious project. Everyday there are meetings about how urgent this work is and if it isn’t completed we’ll potentially lose a multi-million dollar deal. This isn’t my mess. It isn’t even the mess of the bosses demanding the work. It’s someone else’s mess entirely. Yet, not only have the originators of said mess outsourced the fixing of it, but they’ve also outsourced the anxiety. I don’t even really care anymore but for some reason when someone is putting demands on you and the only way to shut them up is to deliver something, you do it. When it doesn’t shut them up and their insatiable need for more of the same isn’t met you start to wonder exactly why you are doing the stupid thing you are doing in the first place. It was against this backdrop last Friday that I began the day with a headache so monstrous it had previously starred in several mid-50’s era disaster movies set in Tokyo. I’m sure the headache was due to lack of sleep I’d had the night before. I was prevented from sleeping by my desire to put my fists through any available wall. I spent the Friday nursing my head, wincing at bright lights, working to make sense of the tasks at hand while trying not to vomit at my desk or poop my pants. At some point I couldn’t take it any longer and decided to call it quits and leave work early. It was 5:30 PM.
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