Sunday, January 28, 2007

Why can't Canadian politics be this much fun?Pelosi to eat 50 hard boiled eggs.

Is there some kind of surgery I can have to sound more like Doyle Redland?

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Saturday, January 27, 2007

from Oscar, the grouch on the couch

Okay, so, I'm making this post just so I can say - "I told you so..." because the Oscars™ are so predictable I'm going to make my picks based on Hollywoodland politics, biases and traditions which has little to do with the films themselves. In fact, I've only seen three of all of the films nominated (for God's sake, Poseidon got a nomination). For the record, here are my predictions on the outcome of this meaningless exercise in diversion:

Lead Actor:
Forest Whitaker

Supporting Actor:
Eddie Murphy

Lead Actress:
Helen Mirren

Supporting Actress:
Jennifer Hudson

Animated Feature:

Art Direction:

Children of Men

Marie Antoinette

The Departed, Martin Scorcese

Documentary Feature:
An Inconvenient Truth

Film Editing:

Foreign Language:
Pan's Labyrinth


Music (song):

Best Picture:
Letters from Iwo Jima

Short film (animated):
No Time for Nuts

Writing (adaptation):
Notes on a Scandal

Writing (original screenplay):
Letters from Iwo Jima


Friday, January 26, 2007

Kubrick's Calculus

For many years I was astonished at every Kubrick film I saw, then being unsure of myself, I thought maybe he was rubbish. Now, I'm just so unsure of him. I'm glad I'm not alone.

Kubrick Film at

PS. His fascination with Nescafe ads may be the only proof we have of his genius.

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Saturday, January 20, 2007

Winter's Here...POW!

The mercury dropped, but at least the sun came out. In lieu of a phone call, you can hear about it here:

This week's podcast brought to you by Hot Chocolate! (the drink, not the band).


Tuesday, January 16, 2007

This Just in...Winter

This just in...
"This just in...reports from the Centre of the Universe indicate strange white flakes in crystalline form falling from the sky and accumulating on the ground. The air is incredibly cold, the wind biting and all leading indicators point to a seismic seasonal shift toward what some experts are now calling "Winter". Confused residents of COTU (Centre of the Universe) can be seen wandering with their collars upturned and their hands in their pockets after having given away all of their hats and gloves. Still other citizens have been spotted sitting in their cars, bewildered by spinning tires and frosted windscreens unsure of why their forward has stopped."

Well, it's not THAT bad, but winter has finally arrived in the Big Smoke. It is cold today. Nose-nipping, toe-biting, bone-rattling, teeth-chattering kind of cold. -20°C may not break records but going from +5 to -20 would shock anyone's system.

As I sat inside looking out upon the sunny scenes I thought I would get some fresh air so I perambulated the high street thinking only of the charitable act of leaving some never-worn vestments at the local Goodwill proprietor. Early moments on, I thought, "Goodness, such a cold day we have not known in this year." I was also thinking that I would eventually acclimatize. Several more moments passed when the belief that I would ever grow accustomed to this weather quickly evaporated. I briskly walked into the Goodwill, dropped off my wares (is it poor form to donate old clothing in an "H&M" bag?) and decided to peruse for any potential "Antiques Roadshow" treasures. It was not to be. Such sad artifacts and curios did I see there, as to compel me to write this.

There were so many unwanted books. Many were of the Author's Name as Title Genre (John Grisham, Danielle Steele, Dick Francis, Stephen King are all examples. You know you've really struck it rich when your name is larger than the title of the book, rendering all content inconsequential). Books on diets (oh Dr. Atkins, you have fallen in the bin with everyone else), finding the colour of your escape hatch, determining your potential, chicken soup for the soul/ country soul/ city soul/ single soul and married soul, Oracle, C++, Java and HTML, Word, and accelerating your Excel. Housewares, mostly broken, all grimy, many with important messages such as "World's Greatest...skier, Grandma, Dad, teacher, Lover" or "Number 1...something or other". Discarded pictures of Jesus, the Pope (JP2), and faded singers of uniquely coiffed hair (though no Elvis - perhaps they were the discards of a previous generation). Stored amongst the picture frames are the vinyl records. These fall into several categories. The most obvious ones are from recently deceased, interred or institutionalized individuals. Albums of singers gone by, showing by their distressed edges, how often or little they were played, are mixed amongst records discarded simply by their date, style or genre (yes, I refer to all the Spandau Ballet admirers who came to realize far too late their mistake and should refrain from publicly listening to their current music choices which are probably as equally inane as their choices from over twenty years ago). Then there are the rows and rows of clothing, hung without care, little laundering, absolutely no pressing on sad little wire hangers - even plastic hangers have more grace.

It is evident from the smell of this Goodwill "Outlet" that the people who work/volunteer there dislike it as much as those patrons who frequent it. That's not to say all Goodwill shops are sub-standard, but this one, with it's ugly plastic "drop-off" bins in the front is one of the sadder ones I've been to recently. If you want to move product, there are probably a few things you could do to improve this retail environment.
  • Try renaming your "Drop-off" bin, to the "Donation Centre" or the "Charity Chest". Also, try using professional lettering rather than large, poorly scribed, hand-written text in black marker.
  • Sweep or vacuum at least once a decade.
  • Try an air purifier, smelly candle, aromatherapy, activated charcoal or anything that might neutralize the smell of wet cardboard meets body odor.
  • Remove fallen items from the floor, particularly glass wares.
  • "Reduce, Reuse and Recycle" such items as empty record jackets, broken teapots, electronic appliances held together with duct tape, elastic bands or galvanized deck nails.

The unfortunate reality is they don't have to bother, as the Goodwill is really the lowest rung of retail, wherein avid collectors scour, buy, wash, scrub, re-package and re-sell found pieces of value at greatly increased prices to be sold in their own store, which has a clean floor, charming lighting and smells vaguely of a vanilla-lavender scented sachets.


Saturday, January 13, 2007

Ahhhh sweet Internet, what gems does thy Pandora's box hold? Well, this one for a start.

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Thursday, January 04, 2007

Hey everyone, I finally posted some Christmas pics which you can see here and if you're interested in hearing my dulcet tones I recorded a list of the kind of things we ate during Christmas week. I didn't intend on making a list, it just turned out that way.That's what happens when you work without a script. To hear my sotto voce click on the "play" icon.

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Monday, January 01, 2007

New Porch Rail
Originally uploaded by rowdyman.

Here's the latest of the 'home improvements' - actually installed in November. We discovered that all of our neighbours had installed porch rails, usually temporary ones, because their insurers insisted upon it. Ours never has and probably never will, but after two different people took a slide off the steps last winter (I believe alcohol may have been involved - I can't say for certain), I thought it would be prudent to install a railing. I figured that a lot of these temporary things become more permanent the longer they are left, so I wanted something nicer than 2x4's but I also wanted to avoid going into the ground becuase a vertical post between the porch steps would be impossible to clear of leaves or snow. The solution, which isn't perfect, was to use these stainless steel connectors from a marine supplier. I also got the aluminum tube to go with it (which doubled the cost) but I didn't really like how it looked so I simply swapped out the aluminum for 1" dowel (oak is my guess, not sure really). I added some stain and voilĂ  - instant porch rail. It only took about 10 minutes to install and probably less to remove. So at last we have the required railing and I'll assume our liability lessened.

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