I commuted my commute

It's been a long time since cycling was more civilized.

The only thing I understand about Game Theory is what I learned in the film A Beautiful Mind. There is an example of winning some kind of duel by firing your pistol in the air, thus removing yourself from the competition, while still following the rules. There is no "winning" Toronto's horrible commute. Toronto's horrible commute is made worse by unreliable and poorly connected regional and municipal transit, too many people deciding to drive who don't really need to drive, and a conflation of hundreds of condo construction projects and countless infrastructure construction sites. Did you want a functional electrical grid, water and sewage, and the aforementioned transit? Then there will be construction. I'm not too bothered by any of it.

I 'game-theoried' my commute. I fired my shot into the air. I took my bike. For about 20 years of working in the city, I wove my way around potholes, streetcars, cabs, and antagonistic drivers. Since the 2020 lockdown, I've worked mostly from home.

There are many benefits to cycling to work. It is probably the most reliable and consistent way to get somewhere. There are few mechanical mishaps, "organizational slowdowns," or "medical emergencies at track level" that dog the TTC, the Toronto Transit Commission. You will lose weight. You will be fitter, stronger, and more productive. Yet don't believe those who wax lyrically about their tranquil commute through a park by bike. Urban cycling to work is not the same as tripping the light fantastic along a lake (though I can do that too).

There are too many articles extolling the relaxing, stress-reducing nature of cycling. I'm sure rolling through a country lane is nice, but there are only a few of those kinds of trails in the city. Cycling in the city isn't tranquil. It certainly isn't relaxing. To be honest, I doubt it's that healthy if you consider the car exhaust and road pollution you inhale along the way.

What it is, usually, is much more like having a near-death experience every morning. It's sweaty. It can be hot. It can be wet. It can be cold. It can be uncomfortable. Riding to a doctor's appointment, dodging opening car doors, weaving away from cars that turn or change lanes without signalling, avoiding pedestrians stepping into the street with a dog in tow can be harrowing. It would be no wonder a nurse might find your blood pressure a little closer to geyser levels after a ride to the doctor's office.

Arriving at work after fending off fenders and driving offenders is exhausting. Curiously, I really do wonder what Toronto drivers expect when, without much prompting, they suggest that you really should be dead and you should do it in the following manner. Do they expect that if they curse and yell at a cyclist that said cyclist would doff their cap and suggest having a wonderful day? Or, stay with me, wouldn't it be more rational to expect that someone who has just survived what amounts to a version of Death Race, to return their unwanted comments in kind? To be clear, if you cuss me out whilst nearly killing me, you should expect that I will be in a giving mood and return the favour.

After 25 years of riding to work in the city, I’m no longer that guy. The frustrations of spending all those years fighting for safer streets and dedicated bike lanes did pay off. There are more bike lanes in the city than ever, despite conservative politicians wanting to remove those lanes, there are too many Torontonians using their bikes and a bike share system to go backwards. Even with all those bike lanes, there’s always an unnerving moment on every ride when a vehicle made of steel, glass, and plastic, weighing more than two tonnes veers too close for comfort, which makes the decision to work from home a lot easier. Now my commute is about a twenty-foot walk. It's great. Do I miss cycling to work? A little. Certainly not in winter. All of my wet weather gear hangs, dryly, in the closet. I had a plan to go to the office once a week, but I don't have a reason to do that. No one I work with will be there, and people who are not where you are not, do not notice you are not there. Now my rides are for me and I can avoid the traffic and take the long way home wherever I roam.