100 Minutes of solitude would be nice.

I'm not talking about one hundred years of solitude here, but a few hours of solitude would be nice.

"Take a moment to reflect in your journal."

"Don’t miss out on Skip deals this week."

"Our Black Friday sales can’t be beat!"

"Design Reviews. Invitation from…"

"Tap to save on food, time and money all December."

"Collection Day
Remember to take out your blue bin today."

"Payment made to Skyway Canada"

"Save on something you’ll love."

"Let Chris know about your workout."

"Your CRA refund of $512 is waiting…"

Get out of my pocket Tim Cook. I know you’re in there! Scurrying around to find every last crumb of data and money in my posession! I know it's that time of year when I'm getting far more promotional texts along with scams, but this year, somehow, I've let the notifications get out of control. I think it might be killing me a little. Because I wear a smartwatch that is paired to my mobile, I get the same notifications twice. Initially my phone, in silent mode, will buzz, followed shortly by my watch buzzing. This is a problem and I've begun the tedious task of turning off notices from most applications and unsubscribing to as many mailing lists as possible. You can easily turn off all notifications of course, but I do want and need some. If this phone knew me as well as it purports to advertisers, then it should know when I would like to be left alone.

I'm not talking about one hundred years of solitude here, but a few hours of solitude would be nice. I wasn't always like this. I used to enjoy the office dynamics and sociability of work. Since 2020 I've worked most of my time in a room in my house. At least I have a room that I can separate from the rest of my life. I can seal in the alien invader of work in my home, away from my snacks and distractions. The door between my working life and waking life is thin. Too thin. It's one of those French doors with single pane glass, which I'd like to replace with a 2-foot thick, soundproof, fireproof fortification, maybe with a cat door. Where do the French get off coming up with such a thing as a door that fails to block light and very little sound? Were French door makers coincidentally handy glaziers too?

That's exactly what my mobile phone is like. A thin transparent piece of glass that allows too much stuff through. What I really want is a 2-foot thick, soundproof, notification-proof barrier with maybe a cat door to let in the notifications I want. I'm not sure why it's so difficult to tell this to Tim Cook (Apple). I feel that somehow the manufacturers of my mobile get some kind of kickback to allow so many unwanted notifications to appear on my phone. It's understandable that I might be interested when a delivery is about to arrive, though that kind of notification only appears when the delivery is still thousands of kilometres away rather than when I need to know that it is only a few kilometres away. It makes sense that text messages from family or perhaps a dentist reminding me about an appointment should appear, but not to ask me to complete a survey about how my future appointment was when it still hasn't happened. The oddest notification I've seen was, "Let Chris know about your workout." as if my brother, who lives on the other side of the continent would be keen to know I just completed a 23-minute functional strength workout and had burned about 279 calories. Exactly what is the use case here? Do I care if my brother sees my workout? Why would he care?

The technology sector is putting a lot of energy into these learning models to do some extraordinary things but not ordinary things like learning that it is very unlikely that I want to share my workout with someone. My desire is I could simply tell my phone what I want to know or share and then I can ignore it. Such as my smart devices knowing I’m going for a walk or a swim or when I’m in a theatre or sleeping without me having to say so. Weirdly I’m sure these devices are aware of that kind of thing but no one has made the effort to make those connections, probably because there is no profit motive to do so. In the meantime, you can find me turning off more things than are turned on and silencing the unwanted noise that not-so-smart devices create.