Wednesday, February 28, 2018

My Life Now 


Do I have to use the bathroom?

Yup… or, maybe?


I think not going is starting to give me a headache. That’s a thing, right? Not going can give you a headache? Everything gives me a headache these days. At least this headache is taking my mind off my knee. Man, my knee. Can everyone else hear that? It is audibly creaking, like an old loose floorboard. There it is again.
But maybe it'll go away? But just in case…

Pretty sure I have to go.

What the heck, I’ll go anyway.


Oh man… this lighting? Do there have to be this many mirrors to remind me how visible my baldpate is at every possible angle?

God. This feels good. I mean, so good. Should this simple biological act feel so triumphantly good? Who cares. Enjoy it. At least that still works.

Jaysus. How much liquid can a normal human bladder hold? I'll have to Google that later. In private mode. Wouldn't want every friggin' ad pop-up to be all "adult diapery" or "prostrate-ful". If I had an iPad right here I could look it up now… on a 56.6 dial-up modem. Should this take this long? Also look up average urination duration.


Whew. Glad I went. Surprised how much I had to go once I got in there. Though… do I have to go “more”? It’ll have to wait until I get home now. I mean, 20 minutes tops. I can make it. Sure. Going to have to now.


(Burps, then sighs)
Ugh, me old guts!

(Unlocks bike, dons helmet, mounts bike and starts pedalling)
My knee! And my back. And that ankle sprain that never really healed. Why are my elbows sore? Do my elbows go to some sort of joint fight club when I'm asleep or what?

Maybe I’ll just have a quick lie-down when I get home.

Just ’til this headache passes.

After I use the bathroom.

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