Thursday, May 01, 2014

I've Gone Hollywood

This week I'm at the National Cable and Telecommunications Association convention and trade show in Los Angeles (aka NCTA, aka The Cable Show). It's where networks and cable providers and companies that supply services and hardware to cable providers (like who I work for) meet to wrangle and discuss possible business and partnerships or just to see what the other guy is hawking. 

In retrospect I can't believe I volunteered for this. I guess the question was asked and I said longingly "L.A. sounds nice." Basically, I agreed to this when it was still minus-infinity wind chill in Toronto. I would've said yes to suckling Satan's teat if it guaranteed above zero temperatures. Now breast feeding from Beelzebub sounds like a holiday. What a maroon. I'm the newbie, the rookie, the hill-billy Canadian who doesn't mind being polite no matter how low my blood sugar and my bungling inexperience feels noticeable. 

Actually, it would almost be fun, if only for the novelty of it, if timing was different. How was the timing bad? Undone expenses undid me and Amex froze my travel card for unpaid debts so I was traveling on my own card (situation now corrected). I already had one crushing deadline at work when another fell in my lap. Then there is the new house which needs to have the walls painted and the pine floors refinished (what the hell was I thinking buying this place?! I wear cycling clippless shoes in the house all the time - well I used to). I still have to arrange for a mover and book the elevator and time is running out. On the bright side, stress is a real fat burner plus you don't gain weight when you can't keep food down right?

Or maybe being locked in a conference hall with no access to the outside world is a Godsend. I'm schilling for the greater good of the company which excuses me from other duties. A colleague back in TO has to deal with an irate customer request, not me. There's nothing I can do about contractors tromping around in my new house while I'm thousands I miles away. And I can't plan a date on the move until the floor refinished gives me a date and a price. Any other deadlines like a charity ride in June feels like a lifetime away. 

So why not hide out in this blur of handshakes, smiles, introductions and elevator pitches? I can think of better ways to spend four days in California. Then again, I can also think of worse. I'll just hide here in my cheap suit and uncomfortable shoes and creaking back until it's over like a mini-corporate hibernation.



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