Seen in February

Retirement Plan

This is a pretty paltry watchlist. I don't know why? Was I reading more books? Nope. Exercising more? Volunteering at soup kitchens or retirement homes? Nope. I have no idea what I was doing other than watching the so-called "idiot box," but here's what I did see.

Forevergreen
YouTube
A sweet Oscar-nominated animated short film about an orphaned bear cub raised by a tree in a forest threatened by human encroachment and wildfires.

The kind of film that makes you ask, "What would I have done?"

Papillon (Butterfly)
YouTube
Painterly animated short film, also Oscar-nominated, about French-Jewish swimmer Alfred Nakache. In Nazi-occupied Vichy France, Nakache, who was a celebrated competitive swimmer, was stripped of his citizenship and ability to compete. Hand-painted cells are combined with an innovative technique of oil on glass to provide a watery special effect, appropriate for this poetic meditation on Alfred Nakache's life from famed athlete to persecuted Jew who lost both his daughter and wife in the Nazi death camps.

Ricky Gervais: Armageddon
Netflix
Not really "shock comedy" unless you consider the shock of how unfunny it is. Gervais’ celebrity from his unquestionably great TV work has given him too many opportunities for mediocre standup specials.

Tom Papa: You're doing great
Netflix
You got yourself dressed up and out of the house to see the filming of a comedy show? Don't worry about anything else, you're doing great! That's the message Tom Papa wants you to know in this funny and enjoyable show.

Ethan Hawke as Lee Raybon.

The Lowdown
Disney+
Lee Raybon (Ethan Hawke) is a bookshop owner and self-titled "truthstorian". Part investigative journalist, part private eye, and 100% pot-stirrer, Raybon enjoys exposing Tulsa's powerful and wealthy families for the bottom dwellers they are. Raybon's gonzo journalism is the perfect vehicle for a funny and compelling mystery such as this. "It'll either be a good time or a good story." is Raybon's mantra. Hawke has matured from playing lovelorn youths to crusty rapscallions without losing a step. This show is like a funny film noir showcasing Tulsa's underbelly and surprisingly diverse communities.

Retirement Plan
YouTube (New Yorker channel)
Another Oscar-nominated animated short, which happens to be my favourite of this year's contenders, which means it doesn't have a hope in Hades. We hear a narrator list all of the things our protagonist will complete once he has retired, from answering neglected e-mails, working through his list of unread books, to living by the sea. Its minimal, economic style and humour make it a winner in my Academy Awards, but the Academy does not respect my opinion.

One of those days

Boy, what a day!

Someone cancelled my very own meeting as if to say, “Don’t take this the wrong way but I’d rather not talk to you today.” The gumption! The gall! The nerve! Well, here’s the truth. It is an absolutely lovely day and I don’t want to talk to them either! It's one of those miraculous springlike days in March. Everyone knows there will be more winter yet to come, but we don't care because the Earth is giving us a little gift to lift our spirits. It's that kind of day.

It’s a melting ice kind of day. It’s a drip, drip, drip of ice off the eavestrough kind of day. It’s a new bird in the tree kind of day. It’s a "wear a light jacket even if you have to go to your basement or attic to find a light jacket" kind of day. It’s a "wear shades to keep the sun out of your eyes" kind of day. It’s a squirrel grooming himself on the fence kind of day. It’s the kind of day when kids can’t help but shriek with laughter kind of day. It’s a shoe day. Not a boot day. Not a heavy coat day. It’s a cap day not a tuque day. It’s a bare hands in the sun day, not a glove day. All of this on a Tuesday?!

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I commuted my commute.

It's been a long time since cycling was more civilized.

The only thing I understand about Game Theory is what I learned in the film A Beautiful Mind. There is an example of winning some kind of duel by firing your pistol in the air, thus removing yourself from the competition, while still following the rules. There is no "winning" Toronto's horrible commute. Toronto's horrible commute is made worse by unreliable and poorly connected regional and municipal transit, too many people deciding to drive who don't really need to drive, and a conflation of hundreds of condo construction projects and countless infrastructure construction sites. Did you want a functional electrical grid, water and sewage, and the aforementioned transit? Then there will be construction. I'm not too bothered by any of it.

I 'game-theoried' my commute. I fired my shot into the air. I took my bike. For about 20 years of working in the city, I wove my way around potholes, streetcars, cabs, and antagonistic drivers. Since the 2020 lockdown, I've worked mostly from home.

There are many benefits to cycling to work. It is probably the most reliable and consistent way to get somewhere. There are few mechanical mishaps, "organizational slowdowns," or "medical emergencies at track level" that dog the TTC, the Toronto Transit Commission. You will lose weight. You will be fitter, stronger, and more productive. Yet don't believe those who wax lyrically about their tranquil commute through a park by bike. Urban cycling to work is not the same as tripping the light fantastic along a lake (though I can do that too).

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