Life in the slow lane

Old To Slow GIF from Old GIFs

I stood from my chair and felt a little pop. Like the sort of small creak you might hear when you stretch your neck or step on a loose floorboard. That was it. My back had gone out yet again. I say "gone out" as though my spine had left my body for dinner, a movie, or maybe a night at the theatre. No, my back was not enjoying light entertainment. My back had stiffened and contracted to the point where I was now shorter. I bore a comical resemblance to Tim Conway's shuffling old man. It may have been funny if it didn't hurt so much. Lightning strikes of pain in my lower back lose their punchline, but never their punch.

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The centre will not hold

William Butler Yeats, in 1932

This might be a long walk but please, walk with me.

Lately, everything’s been a bit much, hasn't it? Just everything. The growing environmental crisis leading to devastating wildfires, floods, landslides and droughts which the oil and gas sector and their minions in government who depend on their economic clout, choose to ignore. The ongoing attacks on Ukraine by Russia. The devastating, disproportionate and disgusting onslaught of Gaza by a west-backed non-democratic Israeli government which we accept because doing something might lead to something worse (though how that could be is beyond me). Continual economic strife caused by an American administration too daft to know what it is doing. That same administration’s quick step into trying to rid the US of all migrants and refugees through autocratic means using questionable arrests and deportations. The same administration is trying to rewrite several decades of advancement of women’s rights and LCBTQ+ acceptance. The same administration’s attempt to ban books and artistic expression which they deem anti-American. Lastly, I suppose, because to give any more examples would be overkill, is the bald-faced corruption of that same administration using their government platform to enrich themselves and their friends (either through cryptocurrency schemes or accepting large gifts from foreign governments). We don’t actually have to look that far. The Ford government in Ontario has made it their policy to dole out money to their friends and patrons who might benefit from any of their unnecessary schemes under the guise of infrastructure. I will also note that none of these governments causing such havoc are lefties. They are hard-right conservatives (from the MAGAites, to Putin, to Netanyahu). They are only growing in number from being elected in Italy, Hungary, and Poland to rising in the polls in Germany and France. Against their namesake, they aren’t conserving anything, especially not norms, which they are dismantling with glee.

It’s hard to put into words or even to know how to react. Then I heard this from Ezra Klein’s podcast:

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Seen in May

Ralf Fiennes as Ulysses in The Return.

Ok, so this May I did see more than this, but re-watching Conclave, and Andor S01 doesn't count for a "seen in…" mention. Also, I'm still watching Andor S02, The Studio and Daredevil: Born Again. Furthermore, May is the month I was trying really hard to get in shape for the Bike for Brain Health charity ride and watched a very entertaining Giro d'Italia, so that made a short list even shorter.

Circusboy
Hot Docs
A young boy doesn't have to run away to join the circus when he's born in it. This is a very charming documentary about three generations of a family who all live, work and perform in a family-owned and operated circus. In many ways, this seems like a dream life for a kid. Growing up surrounded by family, extended family living close by, climbing anything climable, hanging out with animals and learning to ride a dirt bike. Yet, they basically live out of a trailer, move from town to town every two weeks, going to a new school every two weeks and never really being settled anywhere. Despite all of this, and what I may have thought as a "carnie" existence, our young protagonist is a thoughtful, smart, funny, bright and kind little fellow. It's fascinating and captivating.

The Gardener and the Dictator
Hot Docs
An endearing portrait of the filmmaker's grandparents and her grandmother in particular. It's fascinating to meet the filmmaker's grandparents, who raised her until she was 5 or 6, which explains her closeness to them. It's also engrossing to see regular people, living regular lives in an aging neighbourhood in China, while the government is trying to encourage residents to move to a different city with new buildings. Of course, this couple, who have lived in this apartment and neighbourhood for decades aren't keen on leaving but that is really a side note to meeting this couple.

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I'm Busy Doing Nothing

From Tom Gauld's, Physics for Cats.

For reasons unknown to modern science, I dawdle. It might be one of the great mysteries of life, why we, as a species, enjoy looking at clouds, watching fog roll in, or the effects of the wind in the trees. In fact, I genuinely enjoy a good dawdle. I muck about. I futz. Sure you could say I mess about and procrastinate, but procrastination is more about putting off a difficult task you aren't keen on. That's not what I mean, though to be clear, I put the "pro" in procrastination and sometimes I also put the "crass" in procrastination, but I do not put the "nation" in procrastination, that is entirely up to the ministry of foreign affairs, which when you think about does sound like you're up to a bit of naughty fun with a visiting dignitary. See what I mean? It's like I actually procrastinate from procrastinating. When I futz about, I am talking about all the time I waste doing nothing in between other times when I'm doing nothing, and I do so industriously.

I've heard a story that Steve Jobs was so infuriated by how long it took a computer to start up, he calculated how much of his year was wasted sitting unproductively in front of a machine. He challenged his engineers to improve the start-up time. They couldn't, so instead they created "sleep mode" which put the computer into a low-energy mode that could be "awakened" almost instantaneously, giving the appearance of a fast start-up time. The lesson is that even very smart people can't complete an assigned task and will be forced instead to trick their boss into thinking they've done it. Unfortunately, that innovation led us to never shutting our machines off. I used to be like Steve Jobs and hated wasting precious minutes of my day until I heard Douglas Copeland's term, "Time Snack", which he coined to refer to the small moments when a device reboots to relax and take a micro-break from work. I now embrace the slowdown in our work day that slow machines give us. I'm still weirdly impatient, but I'm also weirdly good at wasting my own time. In a sense, I wonder if I dawdle/futz/muck about so that my body feels busy, but my mind is at rest. Let me relate an example of this.

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