The New Egg

Leave your morals at home.

There’s been a lot of talk about a scientific paper from Italy purporting to make the perfect boiled egg using the periodic method. The methodology described uses two pots and takes 32 minutes to complete. The reason for such complications are because the white of the egg cooks at around 85°C, while the yolk cooks at around 65°C. It's this difference that generally has flummoxed many a home cook. Over a decade ago the sous vide technique lead to the 50-minute egg and became the new standard of eggy perfection. Neither of these methods compare with my Sunday ritual that requires four pots set at three different temperatures and takes six to eight hours, depending on your elevation above or below sea level.

Firstly let me say these eggs are not for amateurs nor anyone uncomfortable with smelting their own pots. You should also be an early riser who is capable of a strenuous hike through narrow mountain paths. It is also incredibly important to set aside any ethical issues you may have with removing eggs from the nest of endangered species. Pro tip, you can spend a lot of money on falconer’s gloves which you’ll probably only use another couple of times but you should be able to procure heavy leather work gloves from your local blacksmith shop and these should be fine. If you don’t have a local smithy you could follow my falconry glove tutorial and make your own but honestly without a local metallurgical workshop I’m not sure where you expect to smelt your pots but we can cross that bridge after your hiking boots are done. Please note if you haven’t finished sewing your boots, now might be a good time to watch our video, “So you want to cobble your own boots to go wild egg foraging.” As a reminder, if you haven’t harvested your silk worm’s silk for the laces, you can make do with leather laces made from leftover strips from lesson 16.

If I could just take a minute to promote our foraging club truffle and mushroom course, I'd like to let you know there are still some open spots. Those of you who have taken the additional time to raise and train your own truffle hunting dog or pig will be pleased to know your application will be prioritized, assuming your application will be submitted using paper you’ve made yourself and printed on your pasta machine offset printing press. Extra credit for those of you bold enough to have cut your own typeface. Again, if you still haven’t set up your smelter, just what have you been doing?

These are exciting times for boiling eggs or yes, slowly baking them in your backyard sandpit. Taking the time for artisanal craft cooking is its own reward and will bring you a lifetime of envy or resentment from friends, family and work colleagues alike. Embrace life, friends, before death embraces you!

People who have enjoyed this post, may also be interested in "Salt: Extraction versus Evaporation", "Kitchen Lithography: More Than Just Counterfeiting", or "Sashiko, the Art of Japanese Mending and Callused Fingertips".

If your membership has lapsed, we reccomend you may boil your egg in this highly pedestrian technique that is idiot-proof, takes only 7-8 minutes and uses a single pot, but where's the fun in that?