Thursday, January 13, 2022

The Saddest Day of the Year 

The Christmas Tree Massacre occurred on January 05, 2022. Coincidentally, this was also the same day as the Christmas Cake Abduction wherein the last of the Christmas pound cake disappeared from its last known location.

I didn't want to throw my Christmas Tree on the sidewalk like weekly trash but that's exactly how the city picks up your Christmas tree, like yard waste, in the most ignominious way possible. I'd planned on extending Christmas cheer until January 6, Epiphany, Old Christmas Day. Yet, trash pickup is on Wednesdays on my street, which was on the 5th this year and so the tree was stripped of its lights and ornaments and 86'd through the backdoor like a drunk on New Year's Eve. I suppose I could keep the Christmas spirit going by eating my weight in pound cake and chocolate, or maybe it's healthier to let the holiday go and keep Christmas in my heart instead of my gut.



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