Saturday, April 27, 2019

Types of Horrible People 

Da Vinci knew a horrible person when he saw one.

Not long ago in Toronto, there was an amber alert issued for a missing child who, sadly, was found dead hours later. The Toronto Police had to issue a warning to the public to not call 911 with complaints, because there were people who actually called 911 to complain that the alert from their phones of the girl's disappearance woke them. In response to this nugget, Scott Gilmore wrote a piece in Maclean's titled, "You are horrible people." It was widely shared, no doubt because people recognized others in the post.

Yet there are many more horrible people omitted which I would like to add.

Other kinds of horrible people include the kind of person who doesn’t vote but complains about the government.

There’s a kind of person who doesn’t even pay that much tax but complains about paying taxes.

There’s someone that doesn’t know or has never met an immigrant but thinks immigration is bad.

There are people who have never paid union fees or belonged to a union and proclaim "TGIF!" because they love the weekend but thinks unions are stupid even though the reason you have a weekend at all is because of organized labour.

There’s a kind of person who complains about how expensive beef is but never considers just not eating it once in awhile.

There is a kind of person who complains about how expensive gas is but never considers taking the bus. There is the kind of person who complains the bus in front of them is slowing them down without realizing that when they make a left-hand turn they’re blocking a bus with 40 people on it.

There are people on that bus that never remove their backpack.

There’s a kind of person who shares a post on Facebook about a deep state conspiracy without ever realizing that the post they are sharing was created by a Russian bot or troll.

Then there are the lesser horrible people who are still horrible just not in a life threatening way, more in a life worsening type of way:
There’s the kind of person who stands on the wrong side of an escalator and when it reaches the top they just stand there; they are probably the same person who enters a building and stops immediately blocking the door and wonders where they are and why they are there.

There are people who make reservations at two or three restaurants so they have options and just don't show up anyway because it was raining. There are also people who show up to a popular restaurant without a reservation and complain that they can’t get a seat.

There are people, a lot of people, who love having a dog but don’t pick up their dog’s crap.

There are people who smoke near entrance ways and people who vape some kind of apple-cinnamon-burning-cat-turd liquid and think it's fine to vape it up near the door.

There are people who finish the toilet paper without replacing it.

There are people who finish the last of the coffee and don't turn off the machine so the burnt coffee smell permeates the office.

There are people who burn popcorn or microwave fish at the office kitchen.

There are people who double park or park in the bike lane with their hazard lights on as if that indicates something that entitles them to be illegally parked.

There are people who accelerate through red lights or block the intersection until the light changes.

There are people who step up to the counter in a coffee shop and can't decide what to order, then insist on finding the correct change in their purse or pockets which will only take minutes out of your life.

These are all horrible people and they need to be told that they are are horrible.

FN: I suppose there are even some horrible people who make lists of people who are genuinely horrible but I don't know any in real life.

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